Language of Persuasion and Covert Hypnosis
There is a distinct language of persuasion and covert hypnosis that an individual must master in order to become really comfortable with any hypnosis technique. Today’s article found on Slaw.ca on how to close more clients using persuasion, discusses mirroring and other anchoring techniques that speak the language of persuasion and covert hypnosis with every single word.
Hypnosis
“In his book, Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert B. Cialdini, Ph.D. discusses many factors that affect how persuasive you can be with others. Cialdini was also one of the authors of Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive, co-authored by Noah J Goldstein and Steve J. Martin.”
“Lawyers can use these persuasive techniques to help them increase the percentage of inquiries or initial consultations that turn into paid client engagements.”
“People like people who are like themselves; they hire people that they know, like and trust. In your initial consultation, you need to build up the like and trust factors in order to increase the chances that the potential client will want to work with you by the end of the consultation.”
“In an earlier post, Who Are You Marketing To, I talked about clients being a reflection of you:”
“People do business with people they know, like and trust. Clients are attracted to people who, at least in some ways, resemble them. In order to trust someone, you must feel comfortable that the person you’re working with shares some of your values and goals. Identifying your individual values and what you stand for can help clarify the kinds of clients that you will work best with.”
“In other words, you can identify the kinds of clients you want to work with by understanding more about yourself. In the same way, expressing an understanding of who your clients or potential clients are and what their concerns are can help persuade clients to retain you. The authors of Yes! suggest that mirroring behavior plays upon the natural inclination to like those who are similar to you; reflecting the client’s words and body language can help you seal the deal.”
“I’ve talked about “speaking your clients’ language” before (most recently in the context of networking); instead of using legal jargon or words only lawyers use, use the words your clients use. Legalese and jargon create more distance between you and your audience.”
“If your goal is to demonstrate your expertise and show potential clients and referral sources that you understand their problems and can help them, you want them to feel like they know you and that you understand them and their problems.”
“Mirroring verbal language makes clients feel understood. It increases their positive feelings toward you and makes them more likely to decide to retain you to represent them. Matching the rate and volume at which you speak to your client and mirroring their body language can further reinforce those feelings of closeness and comfort, foster rapport and can also aid in your persuasiveness.”
“Don’t make sudden or drastic changes, but be cognizant of how the potential client speaks and their body language. Be careful not to mimic or copy the other person exactly or your efforts can backfire.”
“Mirroring may not work in situations where a client is anxious or overly excited – in that case, mirroring by repeating the client’s concerns back to them, making sure that they know they have been heard and understood, but consciously not mirroring their anxiety level or rate of speech may be more persuasive.”
“In those instances, you may be more persuasive by being more calm and reassuring, and you may even be able to get them to mirror you. When the potential client begins to mirror you, you’ll know you are well on your way to being in synch and signing a new client.”
There are so many ways to practice the art of mirroring and the more you practice of course, the sooner you will master it. Mirror with your family and friends. Try it out on people at work or when you go out. Practice it even for few seconds with a waitress or barber. You can practice the language of persuasion and covert hypnosis almost anywhere.
I’ve used mirrowing to some degree in numerous situations, however, thinking more deeply about it, I have mis-used or mis-applied it far too often.
Hi John,
That’s not unusual. There is an entire science (albeit secret science) behind mirroring that makes it truly powerful and very covert at the same time. Perhaps if you could elaborate on what you view as “misapplied” we can give you some pointers, so to speak.
David
Hi David,
I was wondering if entrainment worked even when the other person couldn’t see you, but with practice I think it can. Yes???
How much information can be “downloaded” with entrainment? Tried this out at the movie theater with a guy that was in the row ahead of me. He was hard to mirror because he kept moving, but I paid attention to his breathing pattern and general physiology. Pretty soon, I started wondering why I was so stressed and then figured out it was his stress, not mine. He had two teenage daughters on either side of him and I started to think they were fighting, which is why he was in between. His marriage was ending and I sensed there was fallout in his career. Can you pick up that much information with entrainment? The logic side of my brain says I just made it up because I could sense huge levels of anxiety from him. I tried to think things like “big deep, slow breath” and “this too shall pass”, but his state completely overrode mine.
Can people tell you are doing this? Will other people in the area be able to sense you are intentionally getting into their state? Will they just sense something weird is going on?
Thanks much, I’m having too much fun with this stuff.
Deb
Hey Deb,
The short answer is yes. And the answer to your next question is ” I don’t know. I’ve definitely seen and had experiences of tremendous amounts of information downloaed to me in an instant. Others have as well.
Can people tell you are doing this. The short answer - sometimes. Although many times they won’t know exactly what is going on or who is doing something. Alot of that has to do with proximity. The more remote in time and space you are, the harder it is to detect who it is unless you are unusually sensitive or well trained.
I had a similar experience where I synced with a coworker and tried to shift my state to move his and he did know what I was doing and I felt proprioceptively that he resisted because he got distracted and actually turned to me a bit and showed body language of focusing his attention to resist! It susspect it is because I was violating his autonomy. I then tried more direct methods to try to reduce the goofing off which I sort of got started, and he resisted the direct methods because well I had been goofing off…it was enlightening because I realized that the resistance was instinctual. The caveat is that I had been telling my tutors about the techniques and refering them to the online information so that have an understanding of how it works.
Of course I don’t know for sure if this is what happened because I didn’t stop him and ask what he was feeling. I figured getting together to train with David’s group would allow one to get this kind of feedback. I just wanted to let you know I experienced something similar. I hope this helps!